Alien Exchange Students Request Earth Yearbooks: Want to Remember Their Human Friends!

From New Jersey to Nunavut, Alabama to Australia, earthly youths have been riddled with an otherworldly presence – alien exchange students! Don’t fret, this is not your typical school invasion we’re talking about here. No, these intelligent beings from other galaxies have temporarily traded their planetary home for ours, swapping interstellar investments for backpacks and textbooks. Now, as their earthbound sojourn comes to an end, they’ve made a heartwarming—and perplexingly funny—request; to get their tentacles on a copy of their Earth yearbooks.

“No interstellar, no intra-galactic, not even an inter-dimensional being returns without souvenirs,” one extraterrestrial (preferred name: Zørg) told our undercover Secret Informer reporter, through a device that sounded suspiciously like Stephen Hawking’s voice synthesizer. “We want to remember our human friends and what better way than through your lovely ritual of yearbooks.”

Getting past their eclectic diets involving marshmallows and motor oil for breakfast, and their often hilarious struggles wrestling with the idea of a necktie, these exchange students have spent an Earth year absorbing knowledge, human customs, and most notably, human friendships.

Take Xleeborb, for instance. This six-eyed teen from the distant Pinwheel Galaxy camouflaged itself beautifully as a sophomore in a suburban high school in Portland. Xleeborb adjusted to football matches, social media madness, and even mastered the arty wink. When no one was looking, we’re told, Xleeborb spent lunch breaks communicating with home base using the school’s satellite dish, undetected until that fateful day when the cafeteria served laser-heated pizza.

Xleeborb isn’t the only one seeking emotional mementos before boarding the return spaceship. Gr’plx, another young alien planted in Brussels, stunned a class of baffled biology students by explaining exactly how crop circles are created. As Gr’plx now prepares to leave Earth, our GREEN friend impishly grins with a handful of yearbook order forms, stating “I want to remember their stunned expressions for eternity.”

The Secret Informer has discovered that numerous alien exchange students have left traces of their unique extraterrestrial signatures on yearbook pages, adding a touch of cosmic enchantment. From doodling intricate constellations on blank margins to leaving cryptic glow-in-the-dark messages in the unknown alien alphabet – yearbooks have turned into a majestic collection of unfathomable alien social expression.

Human students across the globe are reacting with a mix of shock, laughter, and heartwarming affection as they find that they will be remembered light years away from Earth. Teachers are flabbergasted and school Principals are contemplating updates to school policies to include instructions for handling otherworldly schoolmates.

One does wonder what their yearbooks looked like on Planet Zog. But for now, our alien encounter turns surprisingly, endearingly human as they seek a keepsake of an unforgettable earthbound journey.

In a twist C.S. Lewis would be proud of, these out-of-this-world teens wave goodbye, their arms/hands/tentacles clutching the essence of our schools, safely secured in their extraterrestrial hearts, or their equivalent.

Here’s to you, our alien exchange students. Goodbye and godspeed! And remember, Earth is always ready to welcome you back for a rerun. Bring us some alien candy next time!

Earth – you’ve got mail! And this time, it’s a cosmic one! Yearbooks are now inter-galactic collector’s items, with an audience beyond our atmosphere, reaffirming Earth’s universal appeal. A point to ponder as we Earthlings leaf through our own yearbooks, perhaps grateful for a normal-ish school year (or as normal as it gets with an alien presence). Who knows? Next term, maybe we’ll find exchange students from underneath the ocean or from the center of the Earth! Now THAT would give a whole new meaning to Earth Sciences!