Aliens Enroll in High School: Claim They’re Just Here to Study!

Picture this – Little green Martians, wearing retro Air Jordans, rolling up to your local high school in a shiny UFO as students gape, jaws dropped in disbelief. Sound preposterous? Not in the small town of Desolation Ridge, where extra-terrestrial beings have purportedly enrolled in the local high school. And you won’t believe it, but these aliens claim that they’re just here to study!

Yep, you heard it right. Desolation Ridge High School is now the universe’s top educational hotspot after admitting its first batch of inter-galactic exchange students last week. The new pupils, who reportedly hail from the lesser-known Tholian sector in the M87 galaxy, insist they’re only here to graze on the fodder of human knowledge.

Strutting about in their neon-green uniforms (coincidence or a fashion statement, we wonder?), these studious aliens unnerve some while making others gawk in awe. With their antennae twitching in concentration, they’re zooming through Algebra faster than their spacecraft travels through the Milky Way. The school’s prodigy can’t keep up, and even the Math teacher is scratching her head, on the brink of despair.

This alien invasion has sent shock waves through Desolation Ridge. Locals familiar with the habitual monotony are left slack-jawed and wide-eyed while their apple pies cool forgotten on the windowsill. I mean, who cares about the county fair now? The school’s football team is history, and the prom queen is yesterday’s stale news. Teachers now moonlight doing crash courses in interstellar linguistics, hoping to crack the alien dialect.

The canteen bustles with curious chatter and the oddly appetizing smell of Mars Mac-n-cheese. The alien teens are not all work and no play, it seems. Our sources report the Tholian trio declaring their love for Earth junk food, particularly “the intoxicating medley of fried tubers and sodium chloride,” as they, rather eloquently, described French fries.

However, amidst the mayhem and the intrigue, controversy looms. Skeptics claim it’s just a marketing ploy by the Department of Extraterrestrial Education, which coincidentally opened in Desolation Ridge just two months ago. Others propose a more sinister theory – these inter-galactic scholars might be Freemasons here to stir the pot.

Yet, the aliens seem quite unflappable amidst the hoopla. They’ve been spotted quite at ease, waving their multipronged appendages in courteous greetings, answering students’ queries, and occasionally breaking into synchronized dance routines, which seems to be a reflection of popular culture on their home planet. Even the school bully has been seen tiptoeing around them, careful not to offend.

One of the aliens who goes by the earthly name Zog, only had these words to say when approached by our Secret Informer correspondent, “Education is universal. To learn is to live. Do you have fries?”

While Desolation Ridge is still navigating its newfound limelight, the aliens appear to be acclimatizing well to their adopted home away from home. One thing’s for sure, the townsfolk are in for eye-opening science class this term, as the aliens are rumored to bring rare samples of nebulous cosmic matter for show-and-tell!

So, is this merely an interplanetary exchange program, or is this the beginning of a cosmic conspiracy? All secrets shall unveil with time. Until then, we would like Desolation Ridge High to know – we’re waiting for that alien Snapchat filter! And remember, folks, the fries will never be the same at Desolation Ridge High – they might just come with a sprinkle of Martian love!