Aliens Found in Parliament: Politicians Actually from Pluto!

In an explosive revelation that has citizen’s jaws dropping globally, it has been discovered that some of our most trusted and vaunted politicians are actually not earthly at all! That’s right, folks! Our own house of Parliament – illustrious and long-esteemed institutions of governance – are infested with politicians from a planet that isn’t even considered a planet anymore on earth! Aliens from Pluto are living amongst us, and they’re making policies to boot!

Before you feud with your favorite tabloid at your local dentist’s office or hair salon, hear us out. Underneath their impeccable suits and refined accents, these Plutonian politicians hide some truly cosmic secrets. From their singular third eye in the back of their heads to their green-tinged skins easily masked by gallons of foundation, these Plutonians found the perfect hideout right in the heart of Parliament, proving Clark Kent wasn’t the only alien with a clever game plan.

They’ve cunningly blended into the hallowed halls of power, wielding influence (and who knows what else) while sporting alien expertise. Does this explain the inexplicable decisions some of our leaders have made recently? Perhaps they weren’t just political blunders, but are extraterrestrial agendas!

Our beloved constituents may take solace in knowing these revelations came to light by none other than the world-renowned tabloid, the Secret Informer, with staff reporters working round-the-clock, leaving no unexplained phenomena uninvestigated.

Ever wondered why Parliament sessions run unfathomably late into the night? It may not be bureaucratic diligence at all. Quite the opposite! It appears the politicians from Pluto prefer the dark. Their native planet receives less than 1/1600th of the sunlight Earth does. Hence, we find these ghoulish politicos conducting their otherworldly affairs under cover of darkness.

Engaging in ‘clearance sales’ of natural resources faster than Aunt Susan at a yearly thrift sale? That could be the Plutonians attempting to send Earth’s resources back to Pluto! Alien tech turns earthly possessions into light rays, which are then transmitted across the cosmos to their barren homeland. Your missing car keys? They might be on their way to Pluto!

Pop culture’s running narrative of green-skinned aliens has been thrown for a loop as well. The folks from Pluto have been seen sipping high tea at noon, their skin glistening not green, but an ethereal blue-violet under the sun.

And we mustn’t forget the three-eyed sunglasses affair – languished on eBay to catch the attention of interplanetary hipsters everywhere – they weren’t a fashion statement gone wrong, but custom-made eye-wear for the extra-terrestrial visionaries to cover that pesky third eye!

Observations from trusted sources revealed pluots becoming politicians’ favorite fruit. Named after the dwarf planet themselves, this crossbreed between plums and apricots suddenly doesn’t seem so innocent after all. Are these imported fruits embedded with messages for our extraterrestrial leaders, coded in their eccentric patterns and colors?

Now, before you rally your pitchforks and torches, or, worse, alert Will Smith to shoot up Parliament, it’s crucial to contemplate whether the Plutonians are bringing more good than harm? Their intergalactic wisdom has brought about technological advances that have left Rocketman himself feeling outmatched.

Yet, we must question their motivations. And maybe, just maybe, their defense cuts are less about fiscal restraint and more because…they’re saving us from interstellar threats we can’t see?

In the end, for those in the shadows, there is no hiding from the investigative might of the Secret Informer. Aliens from Pluto taking residence in Parliament, it’s a discovery as big as the cosmos itself! Stay tuned for who knows what we might uncover next!