Aliens Sue Hollywood: Demand Accurate Portrayal in Movies!

Have you ever wondered why aliens depicted in Hollywood blockbuster hits always look like octopuses from outer space? Well, it seems like our intergalactic neighbors have had enough. According to highly unreliable sources, a group of extraterrestrials are filing a lawsuit against Hollywood, demanding accurate portrayals in big screen productions! Hang onto your antenna hats because this libel action is nothing less than cosmos-shattering!

On a clear, starry night, amidst the bustling lights of Tinsel Town, a Martian lawyer, Zoglorp (identity not confirmed due to unpronounceable alien script), hailing from the law firm Dewey, Cheatham & Howe in the galaxy Xerxon-17, served Hollywood with the most other-worldly complaint.

The plaintiffs, known to be operating under the names “Extraterrestrial Brotherhood for Fair Representation” (EBFR), are demanding restitution for “defamation of character and misuse of likeness.” They stipulate that films often present extraterrestrials as grotesque, inhuman creatures or ruthless planet destroyers, which is a far cry from their actual peaceful and curiously attractive image (not that we’ve had a chance to confirm).

In documents rendered in an unintelligible cosmic script (which took experts from the world’s top universities weeks to translate), EBFR alleges they have been portrayed as monstrous, green-skinned, big-eyed invaders in numerous movies for decades, sullying the intergalactic reputation of their sophistically diverse alien communities.

“The Hollywood’s inaccurately fearful and one-dimensional depiction of us is as consistently predictable as an Earth human teenager’s hormonal mood swings,” said the multi-tentacled, phosphorescent litigator Zoglorp, telepathically conveying his thoughts to the stunned crowd of Hollywood bigwigs.

“Our community includes artists, philosophers, cosmic bakers who make star-cluster cookies to die for, not just planar conquerors or one-eyed monsters,” he stressed, his cerulean antenna quivering in frustration.

A spokesperson for EBFR later added, filling the room with a hypnotic scent of interstellar cherry blossoms, “In the Galactic Council, we respect diversity in all forms. Even on our planets, we have a wide array of movies featuring humans not as a malicious or bizarre species but as valuable entities engaged in vast pursuits like climate change, scientific discoveries, or running for cover from mutant squirrels.”

Meanwhile, Hollywood bigwigs are rumored to be in a state of bewildered anxiety as they huddle with their lawyers, frantically figuring out if the Earth’s jurisdiction covers lawsuits from beyond the stratosphere. Top directors are allegedly huddled in secret meetings, wondering if they are going to need model releases signed in astro-invisible-ink in the future.

In an unprecedented move, the Universal Court of Intergalactic Justice is reported to preside over the suit. The jurors are yet to be selected and are rumored to be a diverse mix of beings, from androids to single-celled organisms.

While this news has shaken Hollywood, silver lining has been identified by conspiracy theorists. They believe that this action might prove to be an official confirmation of the existence of aliens!

“We’ve been warning people for ages that aliens are real,” one conspiracy theorist enthused. “And now they’re even suing us! I’m ecstatic, even though I may have to redesign my tin foil hat to block these new kinds of alien mind control.”

Astoundingly enough, the EBFR doesn’t demand galactic credits as compensation – instead, they demand a fair representation, training for directors about extraterrestrial diversity, and an equivalent of the Oscars in their home world, rightly pointing out that the Earth is not the center of the universe, cinematically or otherwise.

As the dust settles in Hollywood, film directors are surely reconsidering their overused archetype of the tentacle-swinging space marauders. Whether we see a rise in cosmopolitan alien charisma on screen or a dismissal of the case, one thing remains clear: Hollywood will never be the same again.

Earthlings, it’s time to grab your popcorn and buckle up because this intergalactic drama is just getting its premiere!