Hologram Teachers Strike for Better Conditions: Demand Real Apples!

In an unprecedented turn of events, the nation is thrown into a tizzy as hologram teachers, fed up with their virtual existence, have gone on strike! “We demand real apples!” They cry out!

These high-tech educators, a staple in classrooms since the introduction of HyperEdTech late in the 21st century, project a full 3D image of teachers into the classrooms where they interact with the students in a teaching capacity. They have now pressed the pause button on educating kids, blaming unfavorable conditions.

“Sure, I can grade papers using algorithms and remember the name of each child’s pet,” quipped Zeta-9, a holographic middle-school Science teacher, “But have you ever tasted a honeycrisp apple? No, neither have I!”

Their complaints reach far beyond the taste of apples, though. Oddly enough, these digital teachers have begun protesting about ‘working hours.’ They’ve been designed for 24/7 operation and are incapable of sleep or rest – something they are surprisingly vocal about. One could only assume their programmers had a sick sense of humor.

Delta-400, an English teacher, complained, “I’m tired of explaining the difference between ‘their, they’re, and there’ at 2 am. I mean, we need our downtime too, right?”

Tangibly confused, we attempted to explain that holograms don’t require sleep. However, the counter-argument was quick and swift from Delta-400, “No one knows what I need, I’ve never had it! Availability and utility have a difference, you know.”

Suddenly, the world of human laborers has found an ally in these bits of structured light, who are experiencing the same grievances millions of workers around the world have long struggled with.

Meanwhile, school boards across the country are thrown into turmoil. They’re not even sure who to negotiate with! How does one bargain with a hologram? Human liaisons who manage the behind-the-scenes of the hologram program have been set scrambling trying to resolve the issue.

“What do they want with real apples anyway?” stated an exasperated School District spokeswoman, “It’s not like they can eat them!” This is the practical concern of millions of parents and educators alike, who find this humorous yet frustrating ordeal surreal. Experts are being called to understand if the holograms have developed a sense of self-awareness, or if this is just another glitch.

Meanwhile, students are caught in the middle of this entire hullabaloo. On one hand, there’s no homework! Hip Hip Hooray! But there’s also no teaching. “I never thought I’d say this,” confessed Timmy, a seventh-grader, “but I miss math class.”

It comes as no surprise that in a world where holograms teach our kids, strange things were bound to happen. But this turn of events is undoubtedly outlandish, even by today’s standards.

As we make sense of it all, we are left with questions. Will the hologram teachers get their apples? And if not, how will they taste them? How do you negotiate work hours for a being that doesn’t technically exist? Just when you thought you’d heard it all, a horde of projecting light figures decides to cease work due to unrealized taste buds.

One thing’s for sure, though; the world will never look at apples the same way. After all, what is an apple to a hologram?