Invisible Aliens Living Among Us: Top Signs You’re Dating an Extraterrestrial!

Welcome, earthlings! Prepare to have your minds blown faster than a supernova! The Secret Informer has uncovered the truth – invisible aliens are living among us! That’s right, folks. While we’re here trying to dissect the complexities of cryptids, our charming extraterrestrial friends might just be sitting right next to us, sipping on some cosmic mochaccinos. Today, we serve you intrigue with a dollop of hilarity. Buckle up as we share the top signs that you might be dating an extraterrestrial!

Numero uno on our list – Is your partner an insomniac, or do they just not understand the concept of Earth’s bedtime? Beware! Every alien we have—definitely not—we repeat—DEFINITELY NOT—interviewed, mentioned their disdain for this earthy ritual known as sleep. One said, “Why waste time shutting down your consciousness when fusion powered neuro-systems are a thing?”

Now let’s teleport to sign dos – Is their vocabulary filled with phrases and idioms that don’t make sense or sound like complete gibberish? Remember, Star Wars isn’t just a sci-fi movie for them, it might just be their version of a historical documentary! When your darling ends up asking for a “sol-sucker” instead of a ‘juice’, you’ve clearly got an extraterrestrial date!

Swooshing to the third sign – their phenomenal appetite for ‘exotic’ cuisines. Ever see them munching happily on ghost chilies like popcorn, or sipping vinegar as if it’s fine wine? They might not just possess a unique taste palette, but be a creature hailing from a different constellation! A little birdy told us, onions are considered as desserts on Zeta Reticuli!

Fourthly, do they have an unusual fascination or unbridled fear towards earthly gizmos? If your honey bunny keeps trying to establish a telepathic connection to your Bluetooth speakers, you’re not into some quirky nerd, it’s an alien, folks! Or when sirens fill them with terror, because where they come from, sirens mean an impending black hole, not a speeding ticket!

Racing on to the fifth indicator- their extraordinary problem-solving ability. Do they dismantle and reassemble your appliances when they break down, only to make them work better than before? Or do they, before a sneeze, prevent it with a touch to the nose? Not genius, darling, it’s Alien-tech!

Slide down to sign six – their obsession with earthly costumes. Do you notice, they demand dress-up nights, every full moon, as bizarre characters from historical figures to mythical creatures? Hint: they are recreating their most loved earth personalities! Bet you can’t beat the Martian Elvis!

Moving onto the seventh point – ever catch them subtly hovering off the floor when they think no one’s around, or see objects moving around them, defying the laws of gravity? Careful, you might be dating not just an extraterrestrial, but an X-Files star!

Last but not least, sign eight – they speak countless languages fluently, maybe even a few that Google doesn’t recognize! If they chat away with your Spanish-speaking neighbor one minute, and the next, with your German shepherd, you know what’s right!

So the next time you catch your dearest stealing a bite off of your cactus, or getting nostalgic about interstellar travel while gazing at the night sky, remember, it might not be their quirkiness, but their otherworldly heritage shining through. In case your partner ticks off more than a few checkboxes…congratulations! You’re dating someone out-of-this-world, literally!