Missing Hikers Found on UFO: Claim They Were Just Asking for Directions!

Ladies and Gentlemen, put on your tinfoil hats and grab your binoculars, something out of this world occurred! Tom and Jerry, normal hikers by day and extraordinary adventurers, slightly skewed from average folks, ran into a wee bit of a hitch on their latest adventure. However, rather than the typical snagging their pants on a tree branch or losing the map to a squirrel with grand theft tendencies, this dynamic duo found themselves aboard a UFO. Yes, you read that right, an Unidentified Flying Object – better known as an alien spacecraft!

“We were just asking for directions!” they proclaimed in unison, looking a bit dazed, as one tends to look after a life-changing event. According to their recounting, once upon a twilight hike, they found themselves caught in a gorgeous yet equally terrifying extraterrestrial light show. “There were brilliant lights, much like neon disco balls; and slow swirls, just like those fancy new age lava lamps.”

An eye-popping, technicolor UFO swooped down and promptly invited them inside with a door that slid open just like in those old space movies. “The whole thing was rather cordial,” says Jerry, “Almost British-like. The spaceship even had a welcome mat!”

Upon their entry into the UFO, they claimed they were greeted by a group of friendly aliens. “They looked a bit like us, but as if a glass of milk and translucent jellyfish have had a love child,” said Tom. “They didn’t probe us or anything though. They were just curious, wayward space tourists, just like us!”

The aliens were fascinated by the hikers’ backpacks, their trail snacks, and even their hiking boots. “Their translator device rendered ‘boots’ as spongy moon stompers,” Tom shared, unable to suppress a hearty laugh.

However, the crux of the matter unfolded when our intrepid hikers, in a bout of wilderness instinct, asked for directions. And not just directions to the closest diner or restroom but to their next trailhead. The grin that spread across Jerry’s face seemed to say, “What could possibly go wrong?”

Well, the aliens decided to help! After a thorough galactic Google search on their impressively wide holoscreens, they plotted the trail location and printed what seemed to be a star map.

“Know what was printed on the back of the star map?” asked Jerry, his tone ringing with ironic amusement. “Disclaimer: ‘All information is true to five cosmic seconds ago. We bear no responsibility for any universal shifts, quantum entanglements, inter-dimensional leaps, black holes or parallel universe shenanigans.'”

“We took it anyway, how often do you get a star map from extraterrestrial tourists?” Tom admitted with a shrug. “Besides, they had EXCELLENT snacks!”

Our gravity-bound humans were returned safe and sound, if a bit star stuck. They stood, gaping after the UFO – the size of three swanky tour buses – as it slowly disappeared from sight, first looking like a shimmering disc and then just a twinkle out by Jupiter.

“Don’t think we’ll follow the star map after all, though. Seems like a celestial faff!” chortled Jerry, slapping his knee in mirth. Tom pulled out the map and almost sacredly folded it back into his pocket. “We might, one adventurous night…we just might!”

Laugh, dear reader, but remember, we live in a universe filled with infinite stories even more incredible than our own lives – and occasionally, they include UFOs, aliens, and hikers asking for trailhead directions. Here, at the Secret Informer, we’ll keep bringing you the latest in “out-of-this-world” stories!