Missing Hikers Found on UFO: Claim They Were Just Asking for Directions!

Well, folks, buckle up, because our ever-watchful informers have picked up on a story that is a humdinger! A pair of adventurous hikers had been declared missing for 72 hair-raising hours, only to magically reappear in the middle of nowhere – or should we say, midair in a UFO!

That’s right, friends! The Zebbler and Shnitzel duo, known in the hiking circles for their daredevil explorations and goofy humor, went voyageur into the Rockies, haunting for that elusive Yeti, Big Foot, or Mothman. Their requirement for adventure was met, but not by any earthly creature. Instead, they were found by Cousin E.T.!

The duo, according to our source (who may or may not be a talking raccoon that goes by the name of Fluffy), was spotted on top of a super-duper, ultra-luminous UFO, nonchalantly chilling with these celestial creatures.

Fluffy, who witnessed the whole extraterrestrial episode, sworn on his favorite trash can that “those guys were definitely on a UFO! They were even waving at me and doing the disco with three-fingered green friends!”

The satellite-controlled weather balloon – um, I mean, the UFO – had all the classic elements: beaming lights, anti-gravity hovering power, and of course, Las Vegas disco music. Because let’s face it, who doesn’t love good Earthly music? Even aliens have playlists!

Crazy as it sounds, Zebbler and Shnitzel came back raving about the hospitality of their starry hosts. According to Zebbler, “The UFO folks are decent creatures. They offered us a strange glowing drink, and had tons of funny stories about misunderstandings with cows. And I’ve gotta tell ya, they make the best ‘Galactic Goulash’ you ever tasted.”

Shnitzel added, “And the best part was how they love our Earth’s sitcoms. I have to say, watching ‘Friends’ on anti-gravity seats, laughing along with intergalactic alien pals, it’s an otherworldly experience!”

The story takes an even weirder twist. Turns out, Zebbler and Shnitzel didn’t board the UFO for curiosity, or the promise of a delish ‘Galactic Goulash’. They went on, purely because they were lost and needed directions! Imagine needing Google Maps and ending up with an Alien TomTom in outer space!

The hilarious duo claims they were just asking for directions back to Earth. “They’ve got this holographic map, sorta thingy, like a 3D web of all stars and planets, with teeny-weeny blinking dots for each one of us on Earth!” Zebbler described enthusiastically. “Apparently, the GPS tech we have is like caveman scribbles compared to theirs!”

In fact, the interstellar aliens were more than happy to help our wayward hikers. “They were downright cordial and polite about the whole thing, even apologizing for the last guy they ‘accidentally’ abducted and ended up with the poor chap spending a weekend on their planet. We guess even aliens can sometimes Google-map-it wrong,” chuckled Shnitzel.

Needless to say, no one in the world believed the tale of Zebbler and Shnitzel, dismissing it as just another far-fetched adventure of the comic duo. But folks, here at the Secret Informer, we know the truth: The universe is a star-studded fiesta, all waiting for us to let loose, do the disco on a UFO, and if in confusion, ask the cosmos for directions!

Next time you’re lost, who knows? You might just not only find your way, but also end up having that coveted ‘Galactic Goulash’ at the end of your journey. Or at the least, you might get to chill out with the universe’s biggest ‘Friends’ fans on a spaceship, catching up on some unearthly laughter!