National Monuments: Symbols of Freedom or Alien Landing Sites?

When it comes to American National Monuments, your average bystander might think, ‘What a mighty symbol of our inspiring history and resilient freedom.’ However, the Secret Informer has managed to unearth a perplexing theory that might just topple your monument-spectating normalcy.

Could these megalithic structures, rather than merely being patriotic relics of bygone times, actually serve an unearthly purpose? Could they be strategically placed alien landing sites? Roll up your sleeves and hold on to your tin foil hats, folks; it’s about to get outlandishly outer-worldly.

Let’s start with the mighty Statue of Liberty stationed on Liberty Island, New York. In the light of day, Lady Liberty symbolizes freedom, democracy, and an open invitation to immigrants – rather heartwarming. However, the moment the sun sets and darkness takes over, a whole new narrative unfolds. Several challengers of reality have reported witnessing strange neon glowing atmosphere around the statue and anomalous activities that outright defy any logic.

One middle-aged eyewitness, known only as Roswell Roy, swears he watched Miss Liberty’s domestically crafted copper torch shoot a searing light beam right into the night sky. His outrageous claim? A signal to passing alien spacecraft from Andromeda. Makes you wonder if the little green men are really stopping by to admire the Franco-American bond or add another check to their extraterrestrial sightseeing list?

Moving onward to the massive architecture of Mount Rushmore, South Dakoda featuring the carved faces of Presidents Washington, Jefferson, T. Roosevelt, and Lincoln. These grand faces softly whisper tales of democracy and independence to the enraptured onlooker during the day. Nevertheless, after sunset, things seem to get a bit…quirky.

Keen observers have reported extraordinary sightings of space crafts landing on Lincoln’s forehead, a sight once dismissed as overindulgence of the local moonshine. However, whispered rumors persist, making one question – Could these masterfully carved minds be more than just stoic nod to the nation’s past?

Now, sailing to the sunny Western Coast, let’s not forget the beauty of Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco. The suspension bridge, majestically jutting into the horizon, is a proud testament of American engineering prowess. But with reported UFO sightings reaching a record high, many are beginning to suspect the bridge’s trademark International Orange color isn’t only for aesthetic or aviation purposes but serves as one helluva bright beacon for extraterrestrial tourists.

Finally, let’s visit the imposingly reverent Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. Served as an emblem of equality, the statue of Lincoln sitting rigidly tells a tale of the nation’s tumultuous history. However, late-night visitors have shared accounts of the statue’s eyes glowing like twin stars. Are these accounts of shared hallucination or veiled signals to our friendly space neighbors?

In conclusion, whether these monuments are colossal symbols of our vibrant freedoms or a well-orchestrated network of intergalactic landing pads might remain a mystery buried in governmental secrecy or, possibly, societal dismissal. Nevertheless, it adds a dash of celestial thrill and absurd hilarity to our humdrum lives, making the monument tours stand out in shades unknown to our terrestrial perceptions.

Remember to keep an eye on the sky next time you visit any of these beautiful landmarks. That blink in the vast cosmic ocean might be more than a mere star, perhaps an alien tourist passing by, captivated by our terrestrial beauty and uniquely, American charms.