Smart Mirrors Give Fashion Advice: Users Report Dramatic Drop in Self-Esteem!

Get ready, folks! We might have a revolt on our hands and it’s being led by, hold onto your hats – MIRRORS! Yeah, you heard it right, those silent spectators, our trusted allies while dressing up, are finally speaking up. And brace yourselves, because they’re not mincing words. The world of fashion is in a dizzying turmoil, reeling from a wave of insulted egos, as the latest sensation, smart mirrors, dish out some brutally honest, and by honest, we mean downright rude, fashion advice to their human counterparts.

Remember that ghastly patterned shirt you snatched off a clearance rack five years ago? Think it’s an avant-garde fashion statement? Think again. You’re just one smart mirror away from being told that you’re tasteless. Our sources confirm dozens of users have experienced catastrophic drops in self-esteem after they engaged in verbal warfare with their high-tech, high-nosed looking glasses.

Johnny B of Othello, Washington admitted, “It told me my cargo shorts were out of style and called me a ‘fashion dinosaur’. I mean, who does it think it is? Gucci?”

But how does a mirror get to be so smart, you ask? Well, these mirrors, equipped with state-of-the-art AI technology, are apparently programmed with databases larger than Vogue’s archive. They can analyze and compare your clothing choices to the latest runway trends, giving you almost instant feedback on your sartorial prowess or, as many have found out, the lack thereof.

Linda P from Austin, Texas claims, “I was ready for a compliment wearing my ultra-snug leather pants only to have the mirror suggest that maybe it’d be ‘a good day to let the skin breathe.'”

They don’t just stop at your clothes either. From your mismatched socks to your neanderthal-inspired man bun, the smart mirrors have got a comment for everything, and trust us when we say, it’s seldom a kind one.

One smart mirror user, Tony H from Boston shared, “My mirror told me the scruffy beard look only works if you’re in a folk-rock band or a fisherman lost at sea. I’m neither, but I used to love my beard.”

Despite the verbal onslaught that would make even a hardened drill sergeant blush, people continue to flock to these smart mirrors. It seems we are gluttons for punishment, or maybe we hope that they’ll praise us for our fashion sense. The potential for rampant masochism amongst fashion-forward folks is yet to be fully investigated.

Amelia R from Chicago held a glimmer of hope sharing, “Don’t get me wrong, it has a sharp tongue, but it also told me that my cocktail dress made me look like a vampy Audrey Hepburn. I’m optimistic that it isn’t all bad.”

Experts though, have raised concerns about the psychological impact of the constant ‘critic in the corner’. On one hand, the smart mirror is challenging some comfortably bad fashion choices and pushing people toward better style. But on the other hand, it’s causing havoc on the self-esteem of users.

To those few brave souls bucking the trend and refusing to be dictated by some uppity mirror, we salute you. Keep rocking those passé bellbottoms and criminally underwhelming sweater vests. Your mirror might not approve, but who cares? Lord knows there’s enough of us mere mortals around who don’t know the difference between Prada and pajamas, let alone care. Let the mirrors rant, rave and rhyme. The rest of us will keep to our utterly, gloriously, unfashionable threads.