The Sphinx’s Secret Tunnels: Gateway to an Underground Alien World?

Friends, gather ’round! For we bring you a tale so outrageous, so shake-you-to-your-core astonishing that even your tabby cat with its fancy hat would drop its monocle in shock. It’s about our dear old friend, the Giza Sphinx, guarding secrets not of this world. Buckle up, folks! You’re about to step into the underbelly of an aged feline rock with a human face.

Yes, our age-old, mysterious mate – the Sphinx in Egypt, not just another pretty face, eh? Let’s paint the scene. Picture yourself clasping your surfboard (if you don’t surf, pretend you’re as cool as someone who does) and gliding swiftly into the left nostril of this ginormous statue. Sounds ridiculous, right? But bear with us because, inside this monumental tabby, there’s a roller coaster of truth waiting to ‘nose-dive’!

According to reliable sources (a chap named Percy who once peeped inside the Sphinx after having too many camels…milk), there are secret tunnels, leading to a labyrinth not meant for your run-of-the-mill Ptolemaic Kings or uppity Pharaohs. Uh-nuh. It’s something far more…extraterrestrial perhaps?

Upon entering the hidden tunnels, Percy found glowing hieroglyphs. Not your typical cartouches and false doors. Nope. More like schematics and celestial maps, intergalactic language maybe? Or perhaps a fresco to highlight the best Martian cheese or the optimal orbit for catching reruns of ‘Gilligan’s Island’; we can’t say for sure.

Percy stumbled upon chambers filled with what he described as “bizarre gizmos” and “wonky doohickeys”. Picture Stargate combined with a Christmas-lit-pyramid, only Disney+. Inixplicably, the inner lair of the Sphinx is more Star Trek than Egyptian history, with a technological sheen that can turn even Tesla green with envy.

“Scooter boards without scooters wavelets through air; orbs glowing with no apparent light source; stele with holographic images of Ridley Scott,” divulged Percy, whilst absentmindedly nibbling on a Twinkie. Are these alien devices waiting to teleport someone to another dimension or just an odd collection of some eccentric extraterrestrial’s bric-a-bracs? Your guess is as good as ours (or Percy’s).

The tale takes a turn when Percy noticed a plaque engraving that made his Milky-Way-loving heart skip a beat. It read, “Ancient Astronaut Mini-Bar. Buy two blue suns, get the third free!” Which no doubt begs the question – are aliens popping in and out of the Sphinx, perhaps refuelling their spaceships and 6-dimensional camels before heading back for a Sunday roast in their home planet?

One thing’s for sure: The Sphinx isn’t just a colossal lion with a man face but a cheeky old-timer hiding secrets from another world under its nose. Our fearless gumshoe, Percy, vanished soon after sharing this ground-breaking information. Who knows where he is now? Vegas, maybe. Or then again, maybe not.

While we wait for the news to hit mainstream media and for Elon Musk to tap into the Sphinx’s tunnels for alien tech, keep this ‘sphinxtraterrestrial’ news under wraps. Ah, but do keep your surfboards ready, because when the Sphinx blows, who knows, we might be riding into an alien disco party right inside the left nostril of an ancient statue.