Time Travelers Crash Historical Events: Shakespeare Complains of Paparazzi!

Grab your reading hats, folks, we’re about to dive into one heck of a saga! It’s all about time travelers, history’s A-list stars, and…wait for it…Shakespeare and paparazzi!

“Just a miserable sonnet yesterday,” sighed William Shakespeare, “Now it’s all flash, flash, click, click!” The bard himself complained about a strange phenomenon in his otherwise serene, pre-social-media times. Apparently, the pencil-and-paper paparazzi, armed with obscure devices and mystifying mumbo jumbo, have invaded his hallowed space!

We came across this extraordinary story from a group of tech-savvy, history-loving hipsters who claimed they’ve cracked the secret of time travel, or so they say! These folks are not your average Joe’s. Imagine Marty McFly and Doc from Back to the Future, if Doc wore skinny jeans and listened to indie rock!

Our source, ringleader Ed, says, “We couldn’t believe it, you know? It took a decade and an entire apartment full of Red Bull cans, but, man, time travel’s no longer a theory!” Supposedly, they’ve been hopping back and forth in time like kangaroos on a sugar high, leaving no stone unturned and no time period un-clicked!

But here’s where things get dicey. Ed and his crew started as serene observers, lurking on the fringes of historical events, viewing them on high tech devices that make your iPads look like ancient stone tablets. But that was until Shakespeare, the bard himself, got cheesed off!

And why wouldn’t he? “There I was,” he lamented, “attempting to pen the sonnet that would conquer all sonnets, when these peculiar gents, armed with their ‘magic boxes’, started documenting my every move.” It appears that the time travelers couldn’t resist the allure of creating their ‘InstaStories’ even in Elizabethan England!

In another bizarre incident, Christopher Columbus was just about to take a step onto the shores of New World when he was sideswiped by Ed who was on his iPhone, tuning in to a podcast about the future implications of the historical moment unfolding in front of him. Columbus reported that he didn’t mind the trip-up too much, but he did take offense at his historical moment being hastened for a quick Tik-Tok video!

Leonardo Da Vinci, sort of a Mansa Musa meets Tony Stark figure of the past, was quite intrigued by this whole fiasco. He reportedly exchanged notes with the time travelers on the mechanics of the Mona Lisa’s smile, with some references to Photoshop and AI technology. You’d think he would make one heck of a geek, wouldn’t you?

The historical record has been significantly affected by these meddling millennials. Joan of Arc’s famous decree “I am not afraid…I was born to do this!” was appended in transcripts by an alarmed squire to, “I am not afraid… I was born to do this… Wait, don’t Instagram this to the future!”

Even Genghis Khan wasn’t immune! In the midst of one of his heartwarming family barbecues (you know, the ones involving strategic plans for global domination), he was reportedly photobombed by a dude in a hoodie equipped with a “selfie stick”!

The audacity of these “Intellectual Paparazzi” doesn’t seem to have limits. They whisk around in their hi-tech chariots ruining timeless moments for a quick snap or an epic Tweet. To quote our dear bard, “Something wicked this way comes!” It’s high time someone busted these offenders and restored regularity to our timeline.

But, in the meantime, cut the serious stuff out. Have a laugh and imagine our dear Shakespeare dealing with a rain of flashlights mid-monologue: “To be or not to be…wait, can you guys stop clicking?”

Godspeed till next time folks, and keep your eyes peeled. You might just spot a tech geek floating around in your historical reenactments, Instagramming selfies with Queen Boudica!