Time-Traveling Tourists Ruin History: Shakespeare’s Plays Full of Anachronisms!

Get ready folks, because we’ve got a scoop that’s going to turn your world upside down! You heard it here first! The “taming” of the shrew, those Shakespearean sonnets, that Midsummer’s dream, all those tales spun by our favorite bard? Ever wonder how they are permeated with surprisingly modern ideas and language structures that shouldn’t be there? That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve got undeniable proof that time-traveling tourists have been meddling with the past and the suspect on the stand this time is none other than the world-renowned playwright, ol’ William Shakespeare himself!

Pack up your history textbooks, because it appears they’re about as accurate as a broken sundial! According to our top-notch, totally reliable sources (who requested to remain anonymous due to ‘time-travel policing protocol’), well-meaning tourists from the future have been popping back into good old Elizabethan times, offering the unwitting Shakespeare a helping hand with his plays. After all, who can resist giving their favorite artist a sneak peek of the future?

Now, let’s look at the evidence on hand. Shakespeare’s plays, right from Hamlet to King Lear, are brimming with phrases and concepts that were, paradoxically, way ahead of his time. Here’s Exhibit A: “Knock, Knock! Who’s there?” Sound familiar? That’s right! That ol’ felicitous phrase appears in Macbeth, centuries before the first doorbell or the popular modern joke format. Coincidence? We think not!

Exhibit B: The countless number of modern psychological theories Shakespeare seems to know about centuries before they were formally proposed. Hamlet’s existential crisis and King Lear’s episodes resembling dementia are just the tip of the iceberg. It’s quite evident our bard had insights into the human psyche that echo modern psychology, a field that wasn’t set to appear until the 19th century.

If that doesn’t convince you, let’s look into Exhibit C: What about all those lost plays of Shakespeare that just so happen to keep popping up? We’re talking about Cardenio, Love’s Labour’s Won – names that scholars scratched their heads over. How, you might ask, do works of a renowned playwright just go ‘poof’ and disappear? The answer is straightforward: it’s those time-traveling tourists again, swiping scripts for an impromptu Elizabethan play-reading session with their pals back in the 25th century!

Now, why, you might ask, would tourists from the future want to mess around with the past? Isn’t it frowned upon? Well, we’ve done our digging, and it turns out these tourists are members of an underground society who believe the past is too boring and needs a bit of a spruce up. They figure a snazzier past would make for a more thrilling present. After all, who wouldn’t want a Shakespeare who was more delightfully diverse in his thoughts and tropes?

The question remains: what do we do with this newfound insight? Should we call out these tourists to stop meddling with our history? Or, should we let them carry on, quietly enjoying the upgraded past they’ve created? After all, is it really such a crime to make history a bit more entertaining, a drop more riveting to study? It seems an ethical conundrum we must all grapple with.

So, there you have it, folks. You can put down that Robin Hood costume, you aspiring history buffs. It seems traveling back in the past is already the new fad! Our history is no longer just war and famine. It’s also now full of Shakespearean plays peppered with well-timed modern jokes, lost plays spirited away to the future, and an array of psychological insights centuries ahead of their time. And, if you see any odd fellows hanging around your local community theater, watch out! Because they might just be time-traveling tourists on the lookout for the next Shakespeare!