UFO Sightings Peak During Full Moon: Werewolves or Aliens to Blame?

Outlandish occurrences are on the rise, dear readers! The full moon ticks off peculiarities, no question. But this time, it’s a step past your garden-variety oddities. A veritable increase in Unidentified Flying Objects sightings have folks quaking in their moon boots. Now, the million-dollar question is: Who’s to blame? Our hairy friends, the werewolves? Or our intergalactic neighbours, the aliens?

Tales have been pouring in from readers, painting a panorama of eerie happenings. Riverside, Ohio’s Mildred Perkins was just watering her rhododendrons under the full moon when – WHAM! – an unidentified metallic object, flashing colors faster than a Fourth of July firework crackled across the night sky. It was visible for all of five seconds before it zapped out of sight, leaving the only trace of its existence in Perkins’s watering can, which oddly enough, turned into solid gold!

Over in Moose Jaw, Canada, lumberjack Billy Stevens was taking some well earned ‘me-time’, wrestling with a grizzly bear, when a UFO buzzed overhead. The spaceship was as bright as Stevens’ bald patch. So unceremonious was the encounter that the bear, mid-claw swipe, abandoned the wrestling match and ran off in sheer terror. Rumour has it; the bear hasn’t been seen since. Stevens, though disheartened, managed to snap a hazy photo of the flying saucer on his trusty flip phone before it blinked out of existence.

With all these sightings occurring during a full moon. It’s time to dust off the ol’ whodunit magnifying glass. Who could be behind these extra-terrestrial shenanigans? Several theories have started making the rounds faster than a raccoon on a carousel.

First on the suspect list is that classic full-moon felony committer: the werewolf! These lycanthropes have long held reputation for misbehavior under the lunar luminescence. Is it such a far-fetched idea that they’ve upped their mischief game from howling to actual spacecraft hot-wiring? Rumour has it a certain wolfish conglomerate is giving computer science classes in an abandoned warehouse in Upper Beaver Creek, Yukon, specifically focused on spacecraft hijacking!

However, there’s another, maybe even more shocking possibility that it’s nothing but the aliens themselves. Witnesses claim to have spotted small green creatures populating local dive bars, enjoying a cold one while nonchalantly flipping through books on ‘Human Customs: A Guide for the Interplanetary Tourist.’ Could these sightings just be alien tourists, taking advantage of the full moon vacation deals on their favorite intergalactic travel site: ‘E.Trip’?

Proponents for this theory state the full moon could simply be the alien version of our ‘Staycation.’ Is it that far-fetched to imagine extraterrestrials snapping lunar selfies, slurping moon-mist floats, and leaving their UFOs parked clumsily in Earth’s skies – all while we run around hysterically stuck knee-deep in conspiracy theories?

Whether it’s the werewolves ‘borrowing’ alien spacecrafts for their full-moon joy-ride or actual aliens pulling over in Earth’s skyline for a quick rest stop – the truth remains elusive. The full moon is now more than just a time for silhouettes and poetry; it’s marked a summit in strange occurrences with UFO sightings hitting their peak.

Don’t forget to keep your cameras, garlic, and silver bullets handy, readers! Who knows what the next full moon may uncover? Until then, stay safe, informed, and keep your eyes on the skies!