UFOs Sighted at Concerts: Aliens Are Huge Music Fans!

When it comes to concerts, we usually think of the usual crowd packed with fans screaming and hopping on each other. It’s high time we updated this definition to include our intergalactic cousins who prefer hovering in UFOs over the mosh pit! Yes, you heard it here first folks. The next big concert goer isn’t your regular Earth-dwelling human. It’s aliens!

Before you scramble to call your doctor, this isn’t a case of overexposure to funky festival wear or concert food. Sources from beyond the stratosphere confirm that aliens are indeed real, and they are huge fans of our music. The Secret Informer has gained access to exclusively privileged information that thousands of UFOs have been sighted across the alarmingly large number of concerts happening around the world.

According to one alien enthusiast, Bartholomew Butterscotch, the galaxy-dwelling ETs are particularly fond of the heavy bass EDM music. “Elements of Skrillex and Calvin Harris music have been detected in signals sent from Mars,” he says, a hint of excitement making his monocle gleam. “The aliens are not just attending concerts. They are replicating and remixing our music!”

Don’t be fooled. They’re not just here for the headbangers and electronic music. These cosmopolitan cosmonauts are into all genres, from rock-n-roll to country, pop, reggae, hip-hop, and even opera. A recently documented visit by an alien craft at a Bee Gees tribute concert demonstrates their eclectic tastes and defies our earlier belief that they only enjoy the synthetic sounds of the 808 drum machine.

On asking a seasoned concertgoer, Violet Vixen, about any weird occurrences during these massive gatherings, she nods aggressively. “I knew there was something fishy when my glow stick started flashing to a rhythm that was completely off from the DJs’ beat. It’s like they were communicating to someone. Or something!” Violet attests, raising her eyebrows in a dramatic reveal.

Here’s where it gets even crazier. Nasa scientist, Stanley P. Telford, has been following these occurrences in secret and he has come to an astounding conclusion. “Music,” he looks around suspiciously, “is a universal language. Subtle differences aside, the scales, tonalities, and rhythms are uncannily similar across the universe. Aliens are not getting lost in translation. They’re grooving to the music just like us.”

While we might have a few things to learn from our resplendent revelers from space, we can’t deny that they’re putting us to shame with their dedication. These intergalactic groupies aren’t deterred by rain, mud, zero-visibility fog, or crashing into each other. They comfortably observe it all from their snug and dry UFOs, sipping on martinis passed through wormholes.

To top this cosmic spectacle, both Butterscotch and Telford have hinted at a universal concert in the works scheduled for 2022, situated in the Milky Way’s hottest new venue- the dark side of the moon. We’re unclear on the lineup, but our sources assure us it will have everyone from Elvis Presley to Tupac Shakur. Conspiracy theorists, start your speculation engines.

So, next time you’re bouncing in a sea of bodies, don’t forget to look up and wave at our groovy extraterrestrial friends, MooMoo and ZeeZee. They are, after all, just guests here on Earth, exploring the soundscapes, making notes for their next DJ gig back home in a galaxy far, far away.

In the grand scheme of intergalactic relations, these sightings of UFOs at music concerts bring new meaning to the phrase, “The stars are just like us.” Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to try our hand at alien crowd-surfing. Rock on, earthlings. Rock on.