UFOs Steal Entire Beach: Vacation Plans Ruined!

Summer was just starting to sizzle and the sandy beaches were calling, but folks in the small coastal town of Pebble Cove had their beach plans swiftly curtailed. Why? Because they woke up to find their beloved beach vanished into thin air. Gone! Completely! Who was the culprit you ask? Was it thieves seeking a sandy treasure? Far from it, dear readers! It was aliens from the great beyond! Yes, UFOs – no less!

It began with a quiet night, just the gentle lapping of the waves against the shore. Around midnight, the slumbering town was shaken out of their collective dream-alley by a noise akin to maybe a hundred sequoia trees being trimmed by chain saws manned by over zealous lumberjacks in the grips of a caffeine high. As windows rattled and dogs bayed, it was brave old Mrs. Smith who dared to peek out her window. And, boy oh boy, did she get an eyeful!

Hovering over their local paradise were three ginormous UFOs casting an eerie, green glow against the night sky. Their bottoms opened like in those alien invasion movies, sucking in sand like there was no tomorrow.

How much sand you may ask? Well, let’s say enough to fill up the Grand Canyon, and then some! Precisely 3 miles of beachfront by dawn, gone! Swallowed up by the ravenous alien beach bandits!

The townsfolk, shocked and bereaved, could do nothing but watch. “It was like my favorite margarita machine had lost its lid and was splurting its contents uncontrollably,” lamented resident beach bum and apparent margarita connoisseur, Barry Hemingway. Barry had planned a luau that night. Needless to say, it ended up more ‘Loo-where?’ rather than Luau!

As the sun rose, sorrow turned to anger. Vacation plans were evaporated faster than water in a popcorn maker. All the sand castles that kiddos had laboriously built, were now probably space sand castles. Rumor has it, the UFOs stole enough sand to create their own Martian Mar-a-Lago.

The local tourist board was distressed. Their prized asset was now playing hide and seek in an extraterrestrial sandbox. How does one attract tourists to a beach that’s not there? The board is now scouring eBay for a suitable quantity of replacement sand.

In the wake of the sand snatching incident, theories abound. Professor Indy Anna Jones of Unknown University wagers that the aliens needed the sand to fulfill an essential requirement. “It’s quite possible”, he opined, “that the aliens needed silica, a major constituent of sand, to construct infra-red proof swimwear, perfect for a sunny day on Venus.”

As outlandish as it might seem, this has created a schism in vacationers. The sand-starved are furious with the interstellar interlopers, but the adventurous are thrilled. “I’d pay top dollar for space sand souvenirs! Imagine my friends’ surprise when I serve cocktails in a Venusian sand cup,” grinned tourist Felicity Trend.

With no real solution, the local authorities have appealed for calm and patience. They are also considering renaming Pebble Cove to Pebble-No Cove to accurately represent the new geographic condition.

Meanwhile, the sand thieves continue to elude capture. There have been sightings and speculations. But as of now, the whereabouts of Pebble Cove’s beach and the unsolicited interstellar visitors remain as elusive as ever. Until then, dear readers of The Secret Informer, keep an eye on your yards. Who knows, you might just wake up to find your flowerbeds making their Pluto debut!