Crying Statue Joins Acting Guild: Tears Up on Cue!

In an extraordinary occurrence that has sent tinsel town residents into exhilaration, the renowned crying statue, famed for shedding tears during landmark life events, has seemingly embraced its on-demand watery talents and joined the esteemed acting guild.

Laugh, you may! But picture this – an 18th-century sandstone sculpture, typically associated with solemn prayer and silent contemplation, dramatically interpreting a script, hitting marks, and yes, even crying on cue. Yes, that’s right! A statue joining the displays of human drama. Bonkers? Or Edward Munch’s ‘The Scream’, with a drop of moonbeam?

The term ‘stiff acting’ has taken on a whole new meaning!

The crying statue, long celebrated for its unexplained tear shedding, has become the latest buzz of the superstar crowd and famed directors. Reports confirm that the statue underwent an official induction ceremony yesterday and is now listed, on paper, as an official member of the eminent acting guild.

One might question, “how on earth did this happen?” Well, let me unfold the tale for you.

Two weeks ago, during the filming of a period drama around the statue, the director noted an unprecedented spectacle – the statue began to leak tears precisely at the moment when the actress on-screen broke down. Cry on cue? This was more than coincidence – it was destiny.

“Clearly, the statue has a knack for timing,” said a high-profile talent agent who wishes to stay anonymous for the time being. “I mean, it’s extraordinary. It’s mesmerizing. It’s… absolutely sensational!”

While skeptics might dismiss this as a promotion gimmick or a freak coincidence, believers have adopted this captivating tale, adorning it with the infectious flair of show-business. It is reported that the statue weeps at pristinely timed intervals, in perfect harmony with the emotive scenes.

It doesn’t stop there. Our sources report that the statue is preparing for its first audition next week for an upcoming television series. The show called “Sorrows of Stone” is oddly befitting. You might think, “how would a statue deliver dialogues?” The answer is, it won’t. It is, however, duly noted that the statue’s incredible weeping talent may allow it to convey profound emotion without uttering a single syllable.

Interestingly, celebrities are thrilled at the idea and have been extending their full-fledged support to the statue. A prominent starlet shared, “Isn’t it the essence of acting? To represent sentiments that words fail to capture. If the statue can make people feel, it is no lesser than any of us on stage or screen.”

While the talking heads continue theorizing the hows and whys of this saga, some are speculating the statue’s remuneration. ‘Will this be the first non-human actor earning in cash or will it be paid in candle wax? Or perhaps, bird poop protection?’ Light-hearted humor surely, but it voices genuine curiosity.

As the statue gears up to steal the limelight, it satirically reflects our propensity for unexpected headlines. Yes, this spectacle has stage fright written all over it. But let’s face it, the thought of a statue being nominated for an acting award gives a thrilling twist to the term ‘performance art’.

So, whether it’s for intrigue, amusement, or pure entertainment, do keep an eye on the crying statue; today it cries for art, who knows what tears might tumble tomorrow. Showbiz conundrum or melo-dramatic marvel – you decide! The stage, as they say, is set in stone!